If a wife starts consulting divorce lawyers, do you think it marks the beginning of the end of the marriage?

Jan

Filed Under (Divorce Issues) by Catherine

ladyme

My friend’s wife is consulting divorce lawyers. They have been married for about 7 years and have three children, 5, 3 and 10 months. Things are obviously very bad between them. What do you think the chances are of the marriage surviving this? Should he also consult a divorce lawyer having heard from her that that is what she’s doing?
I know it sounds like she is planning for a divorce, but she is one of those people who is always threatening things if she doesn’t get her own way, so that’s why it’s not a cut and dry case.

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FlyingScooter on 17 January, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

LOL, sounds like a strong indication to me that she’s thinking about it…

Jen on 19 January, 2009 at 9:16 pm #

She’s obviously planning something, so he should definately get all of his ducks in a row! Especially if there are children involved.

celticbuddha on 21 January, 2009 at 4:48 am #

well he can beat her to the punch and get the divorce started before she does or he can suggest going to marriage counseling (all depends on where he stands in this matter).

memyslf&I on 24 January, 2009 at 3:16 am #

Sounds to me that she has got one foot out the door. You will have to wait and see if it happens.

Mickey V on 24 January, 2009 at 10:03 am #

I would say yes.

Alegria on 25 January, 2009 at 10:12 am #

Definitely a bad sign!

Marina on 28 January, 2009 at 5:23 am #

If a woman is speaking to lawyers, then chances are the marriage is most certainly over for her. If she can imagine spending the rest of her life without her husband and is talking to lawyers to see what she can get out of the deal, then I’d say it’s basically a done deal. Why doesn’t he find out if she is filing? All he has to do is ask.

munkeroos on 30 January, 2009 at 1:07 pm #

I would say theres a 75% chance she’s going to pursue a divorce and a 25% chance she just wants to know her rights and options and how things work, should it go down that road instead of getting better.

It wouldn’t hurt for him to consult a lawyer – but they really should be discussing this and figuring out whats going on together instead of starting a race of who can file for divorce the fastest.

Quasimodo on 31 January, 2009 at 3:46 pm #

Shes testing the waters. Its the first leg of the journey. Lets see if she keeps going or changes her mind.

saphirehon on 3 February, 2009 at 11:40 pm #

Very strong indication. If the other man wants things to work out between them, he should start to consult marriage counselors.

Greyhound Mama on 4 February, 2009 at 12:01 am #

If she’s talking to a divorce lawyer, then he should be too. I would take it as a sign she has stopped trying to work on the marriage.

pamt3bbb on 5 February, 2009 at 4:47 am #

Divorce is probably gonna happen here.If she has already contacted them, she is pretty serious about divorcing.
He does need to get a lawyer unless he doesnt care what happens to the kids (custody wise).

Gary B on 7 February, 2009 at 5:12 am #

Sometimes there is an advantage conferred to the person filing the divorce. If she is shopping lawyers instead of seeking counseling, or discussing problems with her husband, then I think it’s a foregone conclusion that she is going to file for divorce. Forewarned is forearmed…

Kristy T on 9 February, 2009 at 2:27 am #

yeah. that is not a good sign. he should probably consult a divorce attorney as well.

especially if she hasn’t filed. there may be just some sort of glitch or financial reason why she hasn’t filed that she tries to work out in her favor while he is trying to save his relationship.

this is very bad.

shavaughnya99 on 12 February, 2009 at 4:41 am #

In a word? Yes.

Feythe on 12 February, 2009 at 11:20 am #

What I think is that your friend’s wife is crying out, wanting to be loved and understood by her husband. She feels unloved, and since nothing else has done the trick, she is consulting divorce lawyers, hoping he’ll finally realize how much she needs him.

I think there are very good chances of this marriage surviving, once the two of them sit down and talk about their needs together.

Best wishes to your friend.

Tara on 14 February, 2009 at 12:38 pm #

She is probably consulting a lawyer to see what all she can get, what she needs to do, and what she is facing.

Your friend should probably go to the best lawyer in town and consult with them – and put the lawyer on some-sort of retainer before she gets him for her own lawyer.

The wife is preparing ahead of time.

He should know his rights — and what could be going on. If she is preparing — he should do the same. He could one day go to the bank with all the money drawn out — or bills left unpaid because she is accumalating money to leave with. Plus — he better guard his credit .. she may ruin him with his credit.

If he knows she is seeing lawyers — then he better get better and take care of all of his business – and not leaving any stone unturned. He should not depend on her to tend to business – or what she says is done … he best check into all things himself.

silbernagelm on 16 February, 2009 at 7:01 pm #

Hello>>>>>>>>>

DongBrat on 18 February, 2009 at 1:13 pm #

It is the beginning of the end.

No guarantee that it is the bitter end. Just like a refrigerator rocking hard before it comes down, so will a marriage.

The husband should definitely consult an attorney.

misery on 21 February, 2009 at 7:18 am #

yup,shes getting the heads up,preparing.Custody and child support will be the main legality’s of it.

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